When you have grown up in an environment where your needs were not met or ignored, you learned to disconnect from them.
As an adult, this has created one of two situations:
- You don’t know what you need
- You know what you need, but you push it down and ignore it, believing you are not as important as the people around you.
When your needs as a child were not met, or when there was abuse or neglect, something happens inside: you disconnect from your inner knowing of what you need in the moment.
This makes self-care so difficult. You might not know what you’re feeling or what you need until long after the moment has passed.
As an adult, this can look like being completely disconnected from your inner needs. You may feel compelled to put others first, even when you are exhausted. This often shows up in family life, where prioritising your needs feels impossible.
Sometimes you do know what you need, but you push it down. You might stay busy, distract yourself, or overeat—believing your needs aren’t valid, or that they’re unsafe.
Feeling afraid of your needs is normal when you grew up in an environment where it wasn’t safe to ask for them.
But here’s the good news: you can shift this. You can reconnect with your needs, learn to listen inwardly, and begin creating healthy boundaries.
If this feels familiar, stay tuned—I’ll be sharing tips on how to begin shifting this pattern and building self-trust.
Love, Jen 🪷
Start Healing Your Inner Child
The Inner Child Healing Course is a 5-module programme that teaches you how to reconnect with — and reparent — the younger parts of yourself that are still carrying old wounds. At just $97, it’s the most direct path to improved self-regulation, deeper self-compassion, and healthier relationships.