The Process of healing is one of waking up. We start to become aware of how we are in the world. We begin to see repeating cycles in our life and generational patterns that we are repeating. Healing starts when …
The Healing Journey
As we heal, we grow. We connect with a more profound sense of self. We begin to feel more embodied and happier. We make healthier choices and have healthier boundaries. This gives us more capacity than before to have greater …
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
Let me know in the comments if you have ever experienced this dynamic Love, Jen
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
This is the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic identified by Dr Sue Johnson in her brilliant book “Hold Me Tight”. It is the dance of the anxious (pursuer) and the avoidant (withdrawer). I know this dance well because it is one my husband …
Protest Behaviours
This kind of clear communication builds the solid foundation of a lasting, secure relationship. If you had unhealthy relationship behaviours modeled for you as a child, it might take a while for you to shift into healthy ones, but it …
Do You Feel Shamed as a Cycle Breaker?
There are many subtle ways the cycle breaker is shamed in the family; I hope the list above is helpful in spotting some of the behaviours. A big thank you to my Instagram community for adding to this list. …
Sharing Your Needs
Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, …
Healing Old Communication Styles
When we play games, more often than not, we don’t get our authentic needs met. Instead, we end up pushing our partner away and feeling more unsafe. Learning to communicate clearly and break the habit of game-playing is a total …
Valuing Your Needs
Think about hunger. We need this physical impulse to tell us when and how much to eat. If this impulse is denied and pushed down, again and again, there is a resulting imbalance and self-denial at the most primal level. …