Tough question:When you are feeling let down by someone, ask yourself this question, ‘do they have the capacity to show up for me in the way I need?’ If the answer is ‘no’, they can’t show up for me in …
Signs You are Living on Autopilot
Thinking about where you want to go in life and what you are doing to get there Bring meaning and gratitude into your daily life Take time to rest and not do anything Do new things regularly We have a …
Reasons why we might avoid being assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
Self-Care as a ‘Cycle Breaker.’
A cycle breaker in a family is someone who consciously chooses to develop different ways of communicating, interacting, living and thinking to their family of origin. This can start at a very young age, knowing early that you just think …
Is It a Boundary or an Empathy Issue?
When you think about having had too much empathy in the past, has it really been a boundary issue? Let me know in the comments.
Difficulties Faced by Cycle Breakers
Being a cycle breaker is often exhausting because it takes energy to stand up and do something different from what has always been done in the family. You might notice ‘looks’ being passed between family members or eye-rolling as you …
Understanding Reparenting
Wherever you are in your healing journey, reparenting is part of it. When we have been raised by adults who didn’t know how to regulate their nervous system, who did not have the skills to role model healthy boundaries or …
Indications of a Father Wound
Having an unavailable father usually provokes one of two reactions. 1)𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, “I don’t need his love”. Here we punish him, withdraw and close down. We stop expecting anything from him to protect ourselves from being hurt. Maybe …
Introduction to Your Inner Child
So, as the guided meditation went on, I had to kind of stop following it and attend to her. She was furious with me. So angry that she had been left alone to deal with everything life had thrown at …
You might have a Mother wound if…
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …