Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, …
Healing Old Communication Styles
When we play games, more often than not, we don’t get our authentic needs met. Instead, we end up pushing our partner away and feeling more unsafe. Learning to communicate clearly and break the habit of game-playing is a total …
Valuing Your Needs
Think about hunger. We need this physical impulse to tell us when and how much to eat. If this impulse is denied and pushed down, again and again, there is a resulting imbalance and self-denial at the most primal level. …
Feeling Isolated as a Cycle Breaker
Many families have someone who breaks the cycle, know that you are not alone. If you would like some help breaking unhealthy cycles and shifting attachment styles, you will LOVE my 6-week course – Relationship Cycle Breakers. New intake starts …
Getting in Touch with Your Needs If You Are Avoidantly Attached
Have you ever marvelled at how some people seem to know exactly what they need at any given moment? Do you often feel numb and have no idea? This is one of the traits of the avoidantly attached. The avoidantly …
Indications Of Healing In My Relationships
Ram Dass (@babaramdass) says that relationships are one of the most challenging forms of yoga. When he says this, he is talking about the way you meet in an intimate relationship. You will see all of the parts of self …
Being a Secure Home Base as a Therapist
f you didn’t have these experiences, therapy is one way to have the corrective experiences we need to change our attachment style and heal childhood wounds. I talk about this in greater depth in my signature 6-week course, Relationship Cycle …
Remembering Olive
Oli passed away in June 2021 at nearly 17 years old. We joke that she was our first baby because we had her before our children. In many ways, she trained us in how to be parents. How …
Signs of a Secure Healthy Relationship
I have been asked a lot recently, what does a healthy relationship look like? What are the people who have secure relationships doing? They have learnt, over time, how to balance the ‘we’ and the ‘me’, to repair the inevitable …
The Dynamic Between The Disorganised And The Securely Attached
Of course, you don’t outwardly want to recreate your childhood chaos. You hope to have left that far behind. But your subconscious wants to recreate what it knows: insecurity, instability, danger and even abuse. You are used to chaos, to …