We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …
How to Self-Soothe
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
What Causes a Dysregulated Nervous System?
The role of our nervous system is to ensure we survive. If we are under attack, it prepares us to move quickly, and if we are safe, it ensures other bodily functions such as digestion continue. Our parasympathetic nervous system …
No Two children Have The Same Childhood
Is there space for them to BOTH be right? When one sibling remembers neglect, they remember the details and the house’s emotional temperature; that is their experience. That is what they remember. It is true for them.When the other sibling …
69% of Relationship Problems are Unsolvable
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …
How to Regulate your Nervous System
Adults who have experienced trauma at an early age are prone to experiencing dysregulation of the nervous system, especially when stressed. Dysregulation is known to be linked to depression, addiction, anxiety and emotional outbursts. The good news is that we …
The Autonomic Nervous System Explained
Our nervous system functions are essential because it affects how we are physically and emotionally and how quickly we can bring ourselves back into balance after a shock or a triggering event. The autonomic nervous system (ANS) is part of …
Parenting Tips From A 10-Year-Old
This was totally unprompted, she had no idea what I was going to ask her. How amazing is it that the first thing she says is tone and softness of voice! This shows the impact of using a soothing tone …
6 Research-Based Reasons Hugging is Good for You
How long to hug for? Google says 20 seconds, but I couldn’t find any research to back that up. What is important is that you have the time YOU need to relax into the hug. If you are hugging a …
Techniques for Co-Regulation
Co-regulation is where one nervous system calms another. When you have a parent who is attuned to you and can regulate themselves, you are given the gift of co-regulation. Here the parent uses their voice, tone, body and nervous system …