Every relationship, at some point, is going to have conflict. How well we deal with the dispute and make repairs can significantly influence the relationship and its longevity.When we are in conflict it is only natural that we will make …
One Essential Thing to Do to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship.
The Gottman’s conducted a six-year longitudinal study that predicted the likelihood of divorce from the first three minutes of a conflict. The couples who divorced tended to begin their discussion with a lot of negativity and blame. This, in and …
3 Tips to Reduce Your Defensiveness
The four communication styles that have a negative impact on your relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Everyone will have a favoured method. Mine is defensiveness. Defensiveness is a response to criticism and tends to increase conflict because the other …
One Tip That Will Change the Way You Argue
There is a difference being attacking someone’s CHARACTER and attacking their BEHAVIOUR. When we are critical of someone’s character it is much more personal attack. When we attack a behaviour, there is more of a sense that the behaviour can …
How to Shift a Criticism into a Complaint for More Effective Communication
If you grew up with a lot of criticism around you, as an adult it is likely that you have a loud critical voice in your head. Usually that critical voice is directed inwards, but in intimate relationships, many people …
How to Escape the Toxic Criticism and Defensiveness Cycle
When someone comes at you with criticism, the natural response is to defend. Criticism is a form of attack, so it is natural to protect instinctively unless you know how criticism and defensiveness play out in a relationship. Those of …
4 Ways of Communicating That Will Destroy Your Relationship
The Gottman’s have spent 40 years studying couple and relationships. They found four communication styles predict the failure of a relationship. The Gottman’s call them the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. First, to begin to work with our communication style, …
4 Tips for Building Resilience
Resilience is “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress” and can be developed by everyone.???????????????? ???????????? ???????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????? ???????? ???????????????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????:What can I do to increase connection …
Tips for the ‘Struggle’ Stage of a Relationship
It is normal to have conflict and struggle in a relationship. When you begin a relationship, you usually spend a while in the honeymoon phase and lose part of yourselves as you enter the intoxicating phase of merging. As your …
Questions for You During the ‘Differences’ Stage of Relationship
This is the phase where we step back from the intense merging of the honeymoon phase, we take off the rose-tinted glasses and ask ourselves if we can live with the reality of the other person. It is easy to …