We come into most intimate relationships with a long list of conscious and unconscious expectations. Some gathered from the movies and totally unrealistic and some gathered from our lived experience and parents and unhealthy. Any robust relationship requires work from …
3 Tips to Change How You argue
This video has some AMAZING tips to revolutionise the way you have conflict in your relationship
What is the Inner Child?
Attachment wounding is often the result of a familial cycle. It can result in feelings of self-hatred, being out of your body, ungrounded, deep insecurity and anxiety, having an overactive mind, being wary of others, and a sense of being …
When We Are Afraid of Really ‘Showing Up’ We Run The Risk of Gaslighting the Other Person
Let me give you an example. Some of the parenting I had growing up was quite sharp and stern. Rules were not made to be broken, they were made to be followed, and there were consequences when they were not …
How Do I Know If I Am ‘Showing Up?’
When we don’t ‘show up’ in our most intimate relationships, we limit the depth of connection that can be achieved. I think most of us want to ‘show up’, but we are held back. We are held back by: fear …
Is It Time To Stop Expecting People to Show-Up for You Who Don’t Have The Capacity To Do It?
Tough question: When we are feeling let down by someone, ask yourself this question, ‘do they have the capacity to show up for me in the way I need?’ If the answer is ‘no’, they can’t show up for me …
How to Support a Cycle Breaker
These are all from YOU—every one of them. When I asked in my stories what you would like to have heard instead of your friends and family’s shaming, the response was overwhelming. When I added the responses to stories a …
Living on Autopilot
We have a choice to live life on autopilot or to live life ‘awake’, but to be awake, we have to do things differently. Not everything all at once, but we need to learn to bring more awareness into our …
Why do you Avoid Being Assertive?
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
When we have ‘too much empathy, it is usually a boundary issue, not an empathy issue’. It is the result of a high level of emotional enmeshment.
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …