Have you had a big traumatic thing happen, and you seem to move through it well, and then something small happens, and it seems to get stuck? A few things could be going on: Has anyone else had this experience? …
What’s Not Co-Regulation
Understanding what co-regulation IS and ISN’T can transform your relationships! It’s not about mirroring someone’s panic or distress—it’s about maintaining calm and helping others find their way back to a place of peace. In Chapter 6 of my book ‘Heal …
Tips for Co-Regulation
Experiencing this kind of love in a relationship is deeply healing. It has the power to change an insecure attachment style to a secure one. Over time, you will learn to self-regulate and fill in the developmental gap you missed. …
What is Co-Regulation?
Remember, healing and growth are always possible, and they often begin in the shared spaces between us. Who taught you co-regulation? Love, Jen
Why Co-Regulation is Important
When a nervous system with little co-regulation starts to receive co-regulation as an adult, it will learn to regulate itself. This is where we reach the limits of individual personal development work. At this stage, we need to be in …
The Benefit of Verbalising Emotions
A UCLA study by Dr. Matthew D. Lieberman revealed that verbalising emotions like sadness, anger, and pain can reduce their intensity. When people experience fear or anger, the amygdala—an area of the brain—becomes more active. However, brain activity shifts from …
Emotional Awareness In Relationships
Is this easy? Hell no, as Brené would say. It goes against our wiring, especially if we have a trauma history; the impulse to get away can be overpowering. The power is in the pause. When we can pause and …
What to Avoid in an Argument
When we build up resentments in a relationship it is common that they will come pouring out in the midst of an argument. You start with a complaint about how they leave their clothes on the floor, they become defensive, …
Tips for Connecting at Dinner Time
I grew up eating my dinner with a tray on my lap in front of the TV watching Neighbours (an Aussie TV show that we LOVED in the UK with Kylie Minogue in it). We were together as a family, …