I have heard so many different experiences of this time: I feel so confused. I have lost my job and feel a lot of financial insecurity I’m okay, but Im really worried about my parents. I feel selfish, but I’m …
Category: Healing
The Dance of the Avoidant & the Anxiously Attached
I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant / anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, there are …
How to be with a Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
They have a deep need for consistency – being a safe person is essential Understanding their fear in relationship They will have emotional ups and downs – allow space for this WITH boundaries When in an argument they may dissociate …
Tools for Those with a Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). This is the result of inconsistent behaviour from the parent, sometimes the …
How to Be with A Partner Who Is Avoidantly Attached
People with avoidant attachment ARE able to love and be in fulfilling relationships. They subconsciously use avoidance as a way to protect themselves. It is an adaptation that has developed from childhood as a response to a caregiver (often the …
How to be with a Partner who is Anxiously Attached
Some common scenarios that up when you are in relationship with an anxiously attached partner: You have a busy day at work and couldn’t return his call and have received 10 text messages which become more and more heated. Whatever …
Tools For Those With Anxious Attachment
It is very easy for anxiously attached people to judge themselves for their insecurity. Having grown up with a mother (or primary caregiver) who was not consistently available and attuned to their needs, these children learnt that they were not …
Disorganised Attachment
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). They seem disoriented and confused. This is likely the result of inconsistent …
Secure Attachment – A Key to Having a Rewarding Relationship
When a child is securely attached, the child’s emotions are accurately reflected and validated by the primary caregiver (usually the mother). The mother is loving, supportive, attentive, understanding and able to help regulate the child’s emotions and help the world …
What Is Your Attachment Style?
Up until the age of two our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary care giver (usually the mother) we are being wired …