Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? We have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, once we know what we need, actually communicating this to our partner can feel overwhelming.
However, we need to do it. You are the only expect on you. Nobody else can read your mind and know what you need in all the areas of relationship. It is up to you to first identify your needs for security, safety, love, time alone and then let your partner know.
Remembering, once our needs have been communicated, there is no obligation for our partner to fill those needs, but there needs to be space in the relationship for them to be heard, and as an insecurely attached person, this will be a very healing experience.
What need do you need to communicate?