Some children grow up in homes where there isn’t enough care to go around.
So they step in. They become the organiser, the emotional support, the caretaker.
Not because they should. But because the system needs someone to hold it together.
This is how parentification begins — when a child takes on the role of a parent.
It can happen when:
- A parent is ill and needs care
- There are younger siblings to be cared for
- Parents are absent a lot
- Parents are overwhelmed, abusive, or neglectful
- Parents triangulate with the child (bring the child into their relationship)
- Parents share inappropriately with the child
- Parents make the child do age-inappropriate tasks
- Working in your parents’ business out of necessity
- Parental substance abuse
- Effects of a divorce
- Emotionally immature parents
It’s a survival strategy. And it can follow us into adulthood — making it hard to rest, receive, or even know what we need.
If this was you, you make sense. And healing is possible.
Love, Jen 🪷
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