What is a Cycle Breaker?

We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. 

You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle and then decide that that cycle stops with you.

Some cycles are easy to break. For example, you might have been raised by parents who smacked you when you misbehaved as a way of reprimanding you. You might decide to not repeat that pattern in your family and break that cycle.

Some cycles are more difficult to break, especially when they are socio-economic cycles. I find people like Michelle Obama incredibly inspiring when I think about breaking socio-economic barriers. It might be difficult, but it is possible.

Relational cycles in families can be the most challenging cycles to break because you come up against what might feel like ‘the establishment’ when trying to break them. With the example above, the rebellion is to heal your attachment wound and be a more attuned, loving mother than your mother was able to be for you. 

How do we do this when we have an ingrained ‘avoidant’ attachment style? 

We will be covering this and more in my upcoming course, ‘ Relationship Cycle Breaker‘. If you would like to ensure yourself a spot, click ‘here’ to find out more and join the other Cycle Breakers on this life-changing experience.

The Repeating Cycle of Attachment Wounding.

1.   The child is raised by a mother with mental health issues. She is not attuned to the child and numbs her pain with drugs and alcohol
2.   The child learns that she cannot rely on her mother for comfort; she learns to stay out of the way and starts to care for herself
3.   She develops an 'avoidant' attachment style
4.   As a mother, she finds intimacy difficult and pushes her child away
5.   The child develops either an avoidant or anxious attachment style
6.   And the cycle continues