Emotional quotient (EQ) is the ability to understand and process your emotions in a positive way to release stress, empathise with others, communicate effectively and work through conflicts. People with a high EQ have a high level of self-awareness and …
Tag: self-regulation
![The 5 Key Components of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/24_09_2022_REEL_Web-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
The 5 Key Components of Emotional Intelligence (EQ)
Emotional intelligence, emotional quotient (EQ), is the ability to understand and process your emotions in a positive way to release stress, empathise with others, communicate effectively and work through conflicts. Researchers have spent a lot of time focusing on the …
![Notice what feels Okay - calming practice](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/05/Screenshot-2022-05-02-at-12.10.47.png?fit=325%2C394&ssl=1)
Notice What’s Already Okay
Sometimes I notice that I’m over-focused on what isn’t working or what I think is wrong. It seems that all of the okay things vanish from my awareness in those moments. When I bring them back, even one small thing, …
![“When post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) first made it into the diagnostic manuals, we only focused on dramatic incidents like rapes, assaults, or accidents to explain the origins of the emotional breakdowns in our patients. Gradually, we came to understand that the most severe dysregulation occurred in people who, as children, lacked a consistent caregiver” (Van Der Kolk, in Porges, 2011: xi-xii) This is COMPLEX TRAUMA.](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/26_10_2021_CPTSD-and-Dysregulation-copy-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
PTSD and Dysregulation
If you have been following me for a while, then you know I talk about this a LOT. Gone are the days when we can think it’s okay for children to be raised in homes where there is violence, abuse, …
![Co-Regulation We are not born knowing how to soothe ourselves. We need to learn the felt sense of being soothed from someone who can bear our distress and stay regulated in their own nervous system. This is known as co-regulation. When we experience co-regulation, we learn what it feels like to be calm during stress. We learn what it feels like to be soothed. As we grow older, we internalise that soothing voice and state of the regulated nervous system and are able to self-soothe alone in times of stress. When you don’t experience this co-regulation from your caregivers, you might find it challenging to stay regulated as an adult. You might find yourself lacking a felt sense of safety. You can learn co-regulation as an adult from a therapist, loving friend or partner.](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/1-2-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
Co-Regulation
Co-Regulation We are not born knowing how to soothe ourselves. We need to learn the felt sense of being soothed from someone who can bear our distress and stay regulated in their own nervous system. This is known as co-regulation. …
![How to Self-Soothe Let yourself know that you are not going to abandon yourself. Take three slow, deep, conscious breaths down into your belly. Notice: 5 things you can see around you 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/18_03_2021_How-to-Self-Soothe-copy-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
How to Self-Soothe
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
![Don’t focus on the behaviour; stay in the moment with empathy and focus on emotions Take the time to validate your partner, e.g. “That sounds really hard” or “You seem angry about that” Calmly mirror and accept the person’s feelings Provide warmth and responsiveness in times of stress Give them space to calm down when in conflict situations Take three deep breaths together when one person is dysregulated Use a warm, soft tone of voice Say soothing or reassuring things Light touch as reassurance Hold hands or make other physical contact Hug for over 2 minutes – this allows enough time for the nervous system to calm.](https://i0.wp.com/cdn1.jennynurick.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/1-1-scaled.jpg?fit=650%2C650&ssl=1)
Techniques for Co-Regulation
Co-regulation is where one nervous system calms another. When you have a parent who is attuned to you and can regulate themselves, you are given the gift of co-regulation. Here the parent uses their voice, tone, body and nervous system …
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Four Areas of Emotional Intelligence
Socrates in Plato’s Apology was credited with saying “An unexamined life is not worth living”. This is at the core of self-awareness. Self-awareness calls us to reflect on our words and actions, to be curious about our triggers, to understand …