So, it starts off great. It is AMAZING to finally be in a relationship with someone who appreciates and respects you. He is attentive, he calls and texts regularly and doesn’t leave you guessing. He does and says things that …
Tag: secure attachment
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Corrective Experience (Part 8)
Is it SAFE to securely attach to my partner? This is the first question to consider when you have one of the three insecure attachment styles. Yesterday we talked about the corrective experience with a trained therapist. This is a …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Corrective Experience (Part 7)
Repair – this is what we are engaged in when we are working with any of the three styles of insecure attachment. The mother (or primary caregiver) has been unresponsive to the child’s needs, or even abusive. The child has …
Healing The Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about how …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – The Body (Part 6)
Warning – this is a bit controversial. When we have one of the three insecure attachment styles, we have what I like to think of as a ‘cellular memory’ of the energy of the relationship with the primary care giver …
Questioning Our Thinking (The Mind Work)
I like to think of the mind as a piece of play dough that can be moulded over time. It is so easy to think “I can’t change what my mind says!” Know that you CAN because I have done …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 4
Usually we are subconsciously looking to the world to affirm our deepest beliefs about ourselves. This happens in a part of our brain called the reticular activating system. This part of the brain will notice things that align with our …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 3
DEVELOPING A COHERENT NARRATIVE ABOUT OUR LIFE. “Writing about important personal experiences in an emotional way for as little as 15 minutes over the course of three days brings about improvements in mental and psychical health” Pennebaker & Seagal, 1999. …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 2
How can I ‘re-parent’ my inner child? I know this part of me is present a lot in my life – but how do I work with it? Up until about 6 years old our brain waves are operating at …
Creating a Secure Attachment Style – Part 1
One of the ways you can create your own secure base internally and heal from the experience of having an insecure external home base in your mother as a child is through connecting with a powerful part of the self, …