I grew up camping and fishing. I knew what a stinging nettled looked and felt like, I knew what plant to rub on a sting if I got one. I knew which berries I could eat and which ones would …
Tag: Connection
The Six Second Kiss Challenge
John Gottman calls it ‘a kiss with potential’. Think about your usual kisses. They are usually a ‘peck’ on the lips before you leave for work, or a quick kiss saying ‘hello’. Often your mind is already thinking about what …
Relationship Rituals To Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another. When connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, the other person’s nervous system will …
A Powerful Tool To Help Your Partner Connect
As with all suggestions, nothing works 100% of the time.When I feel triggered, I use this question with myself. I look at the facts and ask myself, “What does that mean to me?”Recently, I found myself feeling angry about the …
A Powerful Quote From Stephen Porges.
Trauma is so much more than psychological. Trauma is physiological too. I am so grateful to Stephen Porges and Bessel van Der Kolk for their work in bringing this to the forefront and increasing our understanding of the impact of …
5 Steps to Reality-Check your Relationship
Sometimes we need to reality-check our relationship. It is okay to want a relationship. Humans are social creatures, we are hard-wired for connection. But sometimes we can want it so badly that we ignore the red flags and we make …
4 Tips For Building Resilience
Resilience is “the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress” and can be developed by everyone. When thinking about resilience, it is best to think about it holistically. We are …
Does Loneliness Lead to Depression?
I love to see the research! This was Cacioppo’s question in the early 2000s. In one of many studies, he took 135 lonely people, divided them into groups A and B, and asked them to complete an in-depth personality test. …
Trauma and Staying Connected
When we have experienced trauma, there might be an impulse to push people away, to feel shame around the trauma. To feel as though “I should be stronger than this”, or “why is this still affecting me? What is wrong …
How Close Can I Safely Get?
We all have a subconscious distance in a relationship that we are comfortable with. If we are further away than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, or if we are closer than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, and we …