As children, our survival depends on staying connected to our caregivers. It’s a simple truth: without them, we cannot thrive. That’s why they say, “We are wired for connection.” However, growing up with caregivers who are not attuned to …
Tag: Connection
Conflict as an Opportunity
The curiosity here is around reactivity, and when fight, flight or freeze might take over for either of you in the relationship. This is a conversation that needs to happen when you are NOT in the middle of an argument. …
When We Are Driven By Obligation Not Values
If you value your relationship with your mother and she wants you to call daily, but you find it exhausting, what do you do? I like to look under the request to explore what is REALLY there. What is it …
Finding Connection Through Conflict
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
Love Language Tips for Long-Distance Relationships
Many of you have asked about long-distance relationships. It is not unusual for couples to have been separated by distance while actively trying to show love. When we are distant, there is an opportunity to be more intentional with our …
The Lost Art of Foraging
I grew up camping and fishing. I knew what a stinging nettled looked and felt like, I knew what plant to rub on a sting if I got one. I knew which berries I could eat and which ones would …
The Six Second Kiss Challenge
John Gottman calls it ‘a kiss with potential’. Think about your usual kisses. They are usually a ‘peck’ on the lips before you leave for work, or a quick kiss saying ‘hello’. Often your mind is already thinking about what …
Relationship Rituals To Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another. When connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, the other person’s nervous system will …
A Powerful Tool To Help Your Partner Connect
As with all suggestions, nothing works 100% of the time.When I feel triggered, I use this question with myself. I look at the facts and ask myself, “What does that mean to me?”Recently, I found myself feeling angry about the …