Boundaries are a form of self-care and self-love. Once you have set a boundary, the struggle can be maintaining it. Maintaining a boundary takes strength and self-trust. I find if I am not sure about the boundary I have set, …
Tag: Boundaries
Tips for Setting and Maintaining Boundaries
Boundaries are part of self-care. They are an expression of love and protection from ourselves, to ourselves. I find that the boundaries I struggle to maintain are the ones that for different reasons, other people don’t like. I find the …
Core Childhood Needs
When attuned parents raise children, they develop a healthy attachment style of relating in intimate relationships. When a child’s needs are not met, the child will develop ‘early maladaptive schemas’ (EMS). This term is used in Schema Therapy, one of …
Boundaries & Mental Health
Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible. If you are …
Empathetic Boundaries
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …
How to Interact with Closed-Minded People
I don’t really like the term ‘closed-minded people’ because I think some of the people we label as ‘closed-minded’ just have a different point of view to us.
Making Your way From Passive to Assertive
Being assertive is NOT being bossy or selfish. Being assertive is knowing what you need for self-care and being able to create effective boundaries. It is having the confidence to speak up in the face of injustice. The world needs …
Barriers to Being Assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be upset’ first. …
Taking Time Out from Your Family
It can be terrifying when you just think of the responses. You already know the tyranny of attacks coming your way, the talking about you behind your back, the guilt-tripping. Oh, yes, the guilt-tripping! Finding the right words that will …
Anger as a Sign to put a Boundary in Place
Anger is an emotion that is often a messenger. It is great to get curious about what the message is and if a boundary needs to be put in place. For example, suppose one of your friends repeatedly criticises your …