Let me say it again – you are not responsible for someone else’s mental health. To be clear, I am not talking about abuse. If you are verbally, physically, mentally or emotionally abusive, then you ARE responsible. If you are …
Tag: Boundaries
Empathetic Boundaries
I hear a lot of people in my clinic feel that they are too empathetic. They can feel the other person’s discomfort or pain and just want it to go away. This is the result of a high level of …
How to Interact with Closed-Minded People
I don’t really like the term ‘closed-minded people’ because I think some of the people we label as ‘closed-minded’ just have a different point of view to us.
Making Your way From Passive to Assertive
Being assertive is NOT being bossy or selfish. Being assertive is knowing what you need for self-care and being able to create effective boundaries. It is having the confidence to speak up in the face of injustice. The world needs …
Barriers to Being Assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be upset’ first. …
Taking Time Out from Your Family
It can be terrifying when you just think of the responses. You already know the tyranny of attacks coming your way, the talking about you behind your back, the guilt-tripping. Oh, yes, the guilt-tripping! Finding the right words that will …
Anger as a Sign to put a Boundary in Place
Anger is an emotion that is often a messenger. It is great to get curious about what the message is and if a boundary needs to be put in place. For example, suppose one of your friends repeatedly criticises your …
Assertive Boundaries
Once we know what our boundaries are, we need to be able to communicate them effectively. Boundaries can be loving and firm. Usually, if we have had poor boundaries in the past when we start to put boundaries in place, …
Aligning With Your Values Makes Holding Boundaries Clearer
What are values? Values are principles that you feel deeply aligned with. Some examples of values are authenticity, adventure, community, fun, knowledge, peace, success, wisdom, and many more. So how can being clear about my values help me know my …
Recognising When You Need Boundaries
Creating healthy boundaries in your relationships IS something that can be learned as an adult. As adults, even people who grew up with healthy boundaries will need to enforce those boundaries as they encounter different people with different boundary styles. …