A lot of passive-aggressive communication comes from a difficulty with communicating assertively. It can be challenging for passive-aggressive people to share things they think might be received negatively. They might find it difficult to: say ‘no’ put boundaries in place …
Tips for Being Assertive
TEXT The first step in being assertive is to know our needs. If we are uncertain about our needs, we will find others are too. We will find it challenging to communicate our needs, and when we do, we will …
Advantages of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is when we have strong self-esteem and maintain healthy boundaries. Assertive communication is direct and clear and makes space for the other person. When we are assertive, we tend to experience less anxiety and depression because we can stand …
Barriers to Being Assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be upset’ first. …
Taking Time Out from Your Family
It can be terrifying when you just think of the responses. You already know the tyranny of attacks coming your way, the talking about you behind your back, the guilt-tripping. Oh, yes, the guilt-tripping! Finding the right words that will …
Taking a Break from a Relationship
Taking a Break from a Relationship It’s okay to take a break from a relationship while you work on it. It is okay to be in therapy, taking the time and space you need to get clear on what is …
Understanding Assertive Communication
We usually end up having the communication patterns we learned as children. If you grew up in an unsafe environment, you might have responded by becoming passive and being quiet to stay safe, or you might have spoken up in …
Anger as a Sign to put a Boundary in Place
Anger is an emotion that is often a messenger. It is great to get curious about what the message is and if a boundary needs to be put in place. For example, suppose one of your friends repeatedly criticises your …
Assertive Boundaries
Once we know what our boundaries are, we need to be able to communicate them effectively. Boundaries can be loving and firm. Usually, if we have had poor boundaries in the past when we start to put boundaries in place, …
Aligning With Your Values Makes Holding Boundaries Clearer
What are values? Values are principles that you feel deeply aligned with. Some examples of values are authenticity, adventure, community, fun, knowledge, peace, success, wisdom, and many more. So how can being clear about my values help me know my …