Knowing that mental illness is the result of normal adaptations to unhealthy situations became clear to me when I read “The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog” by Dr. Bruce Perry. Trigger warning for this book – it does …
Types Of Triggers
Remember that triggers are NORMAL. It is about learning to recognise your personal triggers and work with them. This list is a great starting place for you to think about your triggers. If you feel to, try this exercise. If …
What is a Trigger?
When we talk about a ‘trigger’ in psychology, we are talking about something in the moment that reminds us of something in the past, it might be something you see, smell or hear. Imagine if your father was a large …
Signs I was Healing
Someone asked me recently, ‘How do I know I am getting better, is there some kind of check list?’ We had a giggle about it, but it got me thinking about the signs of healing. When I began my personal …
How To Heal From Scapegoating
Healing from scapegoating can take time because the role of scapegoat has been imprinted on you for such a long time. The first step is to validate the effect the behaviour has had on you. This is best done with …
If You Have Been Scapegoated, You Might Experience Any Number Of These.
A friend of mine was labelled the scapegoat in her family. She was repeatedly told that she was too volatile and ‘crazy.’ She was scapegoated for everything, including things she had absolutely nothing to do with. It took her two …
The Scapegoat
When there is a family scapegoat, everyone benefits, except the scapegoat. With the presence of a designated scapegoat, there may be a lot of hidden dysfunction. It can be much easier to hide an abusive marriage with the presence of …
The Black Sheep
Do you have a black sheep of the family? The uncle who was a wild alcoholic and always a ‘problem’ from very young? Have you ever considered what family dynamics might have contributed to the phenomenon? Minuchin (1974), talked about …
Have You Ever Found Yourself In A Toxic Triad?
I know I have. Triangles are a natural part of life. According to family therapist Murray Bowen, they will form naturally when the tension in any dyad becomes too much to sustain (1972). Some triangles are healthy and helpful, for …
The Effects of Bringing Your Children into Your Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …