Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse. It happens over time in subtle ways and causes great harm to the recipient. The term originated from the British writer Patrick Hamilton’s book and movie called Gas Light, in which the …
Gaslighting In Families
Yes, gaslighting happens in families. Gaslighting is when our reality is denied by another or others to such an extent that we start to question our reality. It is incredibly damaging to self-esteem and involves power over from the person …
Family Secrets Show Up As Symptoms In The Family And The Individual.
HOLDING a secret is just that, we have to HOLD the energy of the secret. If you have ever been in this position, you know what I am talking about. It is a secret for a reason, that if it …
Family Secrets
Did you have to hold a secret for an adult in your family? Keeping secrets in families, especially across generations can be harmful for the family and the holder of the secret. Take the example above. Here the mother and …
Biological And Logical Family
This is where we can differentiate between the BIOLOGICAL family and the LOGICAL family. The biological family may have been dysfunctional and toxic, where a lot of relational trauma has occurred. Where, as a child, your needs have not been …
Relational Trauma Requires Relational Healing
The wounds of childhood trauma are relational wounds. They happened in the moments of neglect, abuse, self-centredness, carelessness and trauma. This kind of trauma can create a distrust of all people, as you have learnt that people are not to …
Trauma & Family
Unless attended to, historical trauma can be passed through family lines. Imagine a child growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother. The mother is sometimes present and caring, and sometimes she is neglectful and verbally or physically abusive. …
Attunement & Developmental Trauma
I believe we all yearn for this deep attunement with other human beings, to have someone walk through the tough places WITH us. So many relationships are transactional, even marriages can become transactional and superficial. With thoughts like: Oh, my …
Trauma Integration For Children
Dealing with traumatic re-enactments. This one really stood out for me.Let’s think about it. An example:I grew up in a home where there was a lot of instability, shouting and violence. This is all I have known. In order to …
What is Developmental Trauma?
As children our brain develops from the bottom up, starting with the reptilian brain where survival and reproduction are paramount and moving upwards towards the neocortex, responsible for logical thought. As children we a need safe environment and loving caregivers …