Symptoms of Trauma can include:
- Mood swings
- Irritability and anger
- Denial
- Guilt
- Confusion
- Difficulty concentrating
- Self-blame
- Shame
- Depression
- Hopelessness
- Feeling numb
- Dissociation
- Flashbacks
As I look at this list, I think about the shocking statistic that 1 in 3 Black American men will go to prison in their lifetime. I first heard this while watching @13thfilm, a powerful Netflix documentary tracing the legacy of slavery to mass incarceration in the U.S. It’s devastating—and it stayed with me.
Prison is trauma.
And for many, that trauma is experienced despite innocence (watch @justmercyfilm if you haven’t already). If I were imprisoned—especially unfairly—I can imagine feeling every symptom on this list.
So when we hear Black voices expressing pain, anger, frustration—what we sometimes label as “too much,” “too aggressive,” or “not eloquent enough”—let’s pause. These voices are coming from a place of trauma.
This is what @laylasaad calls tone policing in her book Me and White Supremacy. It’s when white people judge how Black people express their pain and trauma, implying they must speak “calmly” or “nicely” to be heard. But this is not trauma-informed. And it’s not just.
Most of us were never taught how to listen to traumatised voices. But we now live in multicultural societies where trauma is widespread—over 70% of U.S. adults have experienced some form of trauma.
So next time you feel yourself thinking, “I agree, but it’s just too loud”—try this instead:
“That anger is coming from pain. If I had been through that, I might be shouting too.”
If you want to learn more about tone policing and how to be anti-racist in a grounded, reflective way, I highly recommend Layla’s book.
Let’s do better. Let’s listen differently.
Love, Jen
