Category: Wellness

When you have grown up in an unsafe environment, your nervous system is always on high alert, watching out for danger. Over time, it can be difficult for your nervous system to come back into a state of balance, so it becomes dysregulated. This might mean you feel stressed and anxious most of the time, and you might be jumpy and have extreme emotional reactions that you feel unable to control.⁣ ⁣

What You Need To Know About Dysregulation

March 29, 2021

When you have grown up in an unsafe environment, your nervous system is always on high alert, watching out for danger. Over time, it can be difficult for your nervous system to come back into a state of balance, so …

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What does abandoning yourself in an argument look like Your partner wants you to go to a casual work lunch, but you have a headache and don't feel like it. He feels uncomfortable for you to stay home because the food has been paid for. So you go, but you feel resentful and uncared for because you think he is prioritising the money for the food over your wellbeing. Your partner doesn't trust you with other men and argues that you would give him your social media passwords if there were nothing to hide. Nothing is going on, and you don't want him to have your passwords, but it feels easier than his constant jealousy. You give him the passwords and abandon yourself.

What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like

March 29, 2021

Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …

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Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect? What would it be like if: You started to use conflict as a way to connect more deeply? Instead of using the disagreement to move further apart, you chose to get curious? You saw the conflict as an opportunity to get to know one another more deeply? You took the time to really hear the other person’s view? You allowed yourself to feel empathy for them without fear of abandoning yourself? You allowed your heart to soften as you hear their frustration or pain You allowed the conflict to be an avenue through which you can know your partner more intimately? When in conflict, you could get curious about yourself and your partner? You could remember that we all have wounds; maybe you are feeling yours now and seeing theirs? Through conflict, you could hold space for one another’s wounds and imperfections without withdrawing?

Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect?

March 29, 2021

Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …

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When we find ourselves experiencing the same pain AGAIN, it is our subconscious trying to heal our wounds.

Why Do We Often Experience The Same Patterns of Pain?

March 29, 2021

Have you ever asked yourself why you end up in the same situation feeling the same pain AGAIN? It might be feeling unnoticed by your boyfriend. Maybe he seems to prioritise everyone and everything else but you. In response, you …

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You Don’t Have To Feel Broken To See A Therapist. You Can See A Therapist To: Make progress in areas you feel stuck Stop patterns repeating Help stop your negative self-talk Get clarity on a few things Improve your relationships Focus on yourself and your personal growth Be heard and validated by a neutral person Learn tools and techniques to lead a better life Get support

You Don’t Have To Feel Broken To See A Therapist.

March 24, 2021

Working with a therapist and going through a process of self-exploration and change is one of the most empowering experiences we can have. Most people have never been held in a safe, supporting, non-bias space where they can be truly …

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How Many Days Does It Take to Change a Habit? (According to the Research) How long does it take to change a habit? You have probably heard 21 days, or maybe 30 or 40? In a recent study by University College London, they discovered that it takes an average of 66 days to change a habit like eating fruit at lunch. They also found, if you miss a day here or there, it doesn’t affect your results, but being diligent at the beginning has more impact.

How Many Days Does It Take to Change a Habit? (According to the Research)

March 22, 2021

When you ask Google how long it takes to break a habit, you’ll probably land on a number between 21 and 28 days. This number is not grounded in scientific evidence at all. When I have been working on changing …

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How to Reconnect After an Argument I felt pretty angry when we were having that conversation. I'm sorry if that pushed you away. I'm feeling quite disconnected right now and a bit scared. Could I have a hug? I'm not sure we resolved anything there. Could we try to discuss it again in a different way tomorrow? That was quite an intense discussion for me. Can we just sit together and have some tea? You feel distant after that conversation. Is there anything you need? Laugh about something unrelated. Talk about something else that is neutral for you both, like the gardening or a movie you watched.

How to Reconnect After an Argument

March 19, 2021

We all know that uncomfortable few minutes after a heated discussion. The argument’s energy is hanging in the air, and you are both processing what was said. If your trauma response has been activated, you might be calming your nervous …

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How to Self-Soothe Let yourself know that you are not going to abandon yourself. Take three slow, deep, conscious breaths down into your belly. Notice: 5 things you can see around you 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste

How to Self-Soothe

March 19, 2021

Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …

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What causes a dysregulated nervous system A trauma or event in the past that we could not process at the time, so it didn’t complete and got stuck in our nervous system. Continued exposure to danger and stress. Addictive substances Living in an unsafe environment Life transitions such as death, pregnancy, divorce etc.

What Causes a Dysregulated Nervous System?

March 19, 2021

The role of our nervous system is to ensure we survive. If we are under attack, it prepares us to move quickly, and if we are safe, it ensures other bodily functions such as digestion continue. Our parasympathetic nervous system …

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No 2 Children have the same childhood

No Two children Have The Same Childhood

March 19, 2021

Is there space for them to BOTH be right? When one sibling remembers neglect, they remember the details and the house’s emotional temperature; that is their experience. That is what they remember. It is true for them.⁣⁣When the other sibling …

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