Communicating your needs is part of secure attachment. If you want to hear more about this đ§ listen to the full episode to explore what secure attachment looks, feels, and sounds likeâand why it matters. YouTube: Spotify: Love, Jen
Category: Psychotherapy
Aiming for Secure Attachment
If you didnât grow up with secure attachment, it can feel like chasing something that you don’t have a clear idea of. So, letâs make it real. This is the felt sense of secure attachment. Itâs calm. Itâs steady. And …
What Secure Attachment Feels Like
In a secure relationship, your nervous systemâs resting place is in the ventral vagal stateâa branch of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with social engagement, safety, and calmness. The goal isnât to stay in this state all the time. Itâs …
Integrating Traumatic Experiences
When we experience trauma, our thoughts, emotions, and body can feel fragmentedâlike they’re speaking different languages. We might notice flashbacks, racing thoughts, numbness, dissociation, or a pounding heart. These reactions come from different parts of the brain: Neocortex = thoughtMammalian …
The Top Down Approach to Trauma
When we work with trauma from a top-down perspective, we start with the brainâspecifically the neocortex, the part responsible for thinking, meaning-making, and language. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), recommended by the American Psychiatric Association to treat PTSD, helps us reframe …
A Bottom-Up Approach to Trauma
Top-Down vs Bottom-Up Healingâ When it comes to trauma therapy, the order matters.â â A top-down approach starts with the thinking brain (neocortex). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a good exampleâreframing thoughts to shift behaviour.â But hereâs the challenge: when youâre …
What is an Attachment Injury
An attachment injury happens when the person you rely on mostâyour partner, parent, or caregiverâfails to respond in a moment of deep need. â These moments leave emotional bruises that say: âI canât trust you to be there for me.â …
Connection and Trauma
When weâve experienced trauma, itâs common to want to pull away. To feel shame. To think, âI should be over this by now,â or âWhatâs wrong with me?â Confusion, anger, and self-judgment often followâand all of that is completely normal.âŁâŁBut …
When You’ve Been Hurt, Think About This
When weâve been hurt, lashing out can feel justified. Itâs a natural response to pain.⣠But if we stay in punishment mode, we risk doing more damage to the relationship.⣠The real challenge for the hurt partner is this:⣠Do …
When to Seek Help for Trauma
Trauma can feel like a crack in your energy systemâsometimes it heals naturally, and sometimes it doesnât. When symptoms persist or worsen after a month, itâs time to seek support. Flashbacks, numbness, anxiety, anger, and self-medicating are all signs your …