Self-validation CAN be learnt. The reason it is so important is that validating ourselves re-connects us with our inner knowing, our intuition.
Self-validation is particularly important when we have grown up in an environment with mixed messages. Where our reality has been denied by the adults around us. Remember, nobody else has to agree with your version of reality for it to have happened.
I see so many people who have clear memories of specific events from their childhood that the adults completely deny ever happened. Have the clients made it up? Have the adults genuinely forgotten the event? Maybe, and maybe not. Maybe the events caused so much shame in the adults, that to acknowledge they happened would cause them too much pain. Easier to deny it ever happened.
What is important for you is that the event you remember impacted you. That is what YOU need to validate for yourself.
It can be incredibly powerful to work with a therapist around validation. Sometimes we need a second person to validate the abuse and toxicity. Having someone there to hear you and validate YOUR experience and pain is an incredibly healing experience.
If this is something you feel you need in your life, get in touch and book a one-on-one session. Link in my bio.