The Art Of Re-Parenting Part 8

“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.” CARL JUNG

As children we are complete, whole and unique. As we become socialised by our parents, we learn that parts of us are not acceptable. 

In response we disown parts of us that are disliked, or we think are bad. In the process we can inadvertently cut off parts of us that DO have a function.

For example, a child may quickly learn that it is not acceptable for her to express anger in her family. When she does, she is smacked, sent to her room, and not spoken to for a week. She hides the angry part of herself and buries it deep. As a teenager she keeps this rage inside and turns it inwards in the form of self-hatred.

Maybe this child grows up to live with an aggressive partner. Rather than standing up for herself, she struggles to access the part of her that could USE the anger to defend herself. 

Learning as adults to meet and hold our inner rage is part of the healing journey with our inner child. Sometimes we can be afraid that if we meet our anger, it will overwhelm us and we will become an out of control, violent person. This has not been my experience. My experience has shown me over and over again, that meeting and integrating strong emotions is the way forward. Uniting the opposites, so we can be whole and find a comfortable place on a continuum. 

Write ‘YES’ if you know part of you has been shut down because of your childhood.