What is Your ‘Core Wound’? A core wound is caused by a painful experience, which shaped how you feel about yourself or the world. It then drives what you believe and how you behave. It impacts your life often without …
Tag: Trauma
Something to Ponder
What do you think about this? I’m curious to know. I came across this when I was studying for my Master’s Degree. I was drawn to it because I see these symptoms all the time in my clinic and have …
Reasons why we might avoid being assertive
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
You might have a Mother wound if…
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …
Understanding Cycle Breaking
We all have repeating patterns or ‘cycles’ in our family of origin. It might be repeating patterns of failed marriages, drug and alcohol problems, or family conflict. You become a cycle breaker when you first see the cycle and then …
Self-Soothing
Self-soothing is one of the most important life skills we can learn. So many of us did not learn this vital skill from our parents. They were distracted, absent, or unable to soothe their child because they couldn’t soothe themselves. …
Why Your Nervous System might be Dysregulated
We are continually subconsciously ‘reading’ our environment with our nervous system to assess its safety. Dr Stephen Porges calls this ‘neuroception’. It then adjusts our behaviour to keep us safe. We will respond appropriately to the environment, including our thoughts …
The Importance of Co-Regulation
When a nervous system with little co-regulation starts to receive co-regulation as an adult, that nervous system will learn to regulate itself. This is where we reach the limits of individual personal development work. At this stage, we need to …
Relationship Rituals to Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another, either creating co-regulation or dysregulation. When the connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, …
Are You Triggered By Your Parents?
We all carry wounds from our childhood. It might be that you were teased for being chubby, you were pushed to succeed academically, or there wasn’t enough to eat. When these wounds are left unresolved, we might find ourselves as …