Secure couples know how to repair and come back. They don’t get it right all the time, but they keep working on it and learning about themselves and each other through the process. Be gentle with each other. Love, Jen
Tag: therapy
The Three Steps to Communicating a Need
Communicating your needs is part of secure attachment. If you want to hear more about this 🎧 listen to the full episode to explore what secure attachment looks, feels, and sounds like—and why it matters. YouTube: Spotify: Love, Jen
What Secure Attachment Feels Like
In a secure relationship, your nervous system’s resting place is in the ventral vagal state—a branch of the parasympathetic nervous system associated with social engagement, safety, and calmness. The goal isn’t to stay in this state all the time. It’s …
A Bottom-Up Approach to Trauma
Top-Down vs Bottom-Up Healing When it comes to trauma therapy, the order matters. A top-down approach starts with the thinking brain (neocortex). Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a good example—reframing thoughts to shift behaviour. But here’s the challenge: when you’re …
Connection and Trauma
When we’ve experienced trauma, it’s common to want to pull away. To feel shame. To think, “I should be over this by now,” or “What’s wrong with me?” Confusion, anger, and self-judgment often follow—and all of that is completely normal.But …
Physical and Emotional Signs of Trauma
There’s no one “right” way to respond to trauma.Your response is normal for you—whether it’s emotional, physical, or behavioural. Trauma can affect us all differently, and symptoms may show up in many ways, whether the event was big or small.Most …
Book Review
So lovely to receive messages like this from people who have been impacted by the book. Thank you for taking the time to share with me Leigh. Love, Jen
What We Imagine Growth To Be
Have you ever fallen into the trap of thinking that once you’ve “healed enough,” life will be perfect?You’ll have the perfect job aligned with your purpose, the perfect relationship, the sun will shine daily, and strangers will hand you money …
Tools for Grounding
Having a go-to grounding list can be incredibly helpful when we’re feeling overwhelmed—especially if we have a trauma history. When we’re triggered, our sympathetic nervous system kicks in—hello, fight-or-flight. In those moments, we need simple, accessible ways to soothe ourselves …
How to Stop the Little Self-Betrayals
We’ve all had moments where we’ve let ourselves down. Times when we silenced our inner knowing, went against our values, or ignored what our body was trying to tell us. What often follows is self-judgment. But underneath that judgment is …