Sometimes, when there are unresolved issues in a parental relationship, the focus shifts away from the adults and onto the child. Instead of facing the tension or conflict between them, parents may begin to over-focus on one child. The child’s …
Tag: partswork
Triangulation: When a Child Is Drawn Into Their Parents’ Conflict
When conflict exists between two adults — often parents — and remains unresolved in a healthy way, a child can be drawn into the tension. This is called triangulation. It typically begins with an unspoken or unresolved conflict in the …
Daring Greatly: The Courage of Simply Trying
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the …
Parentification and Caregiving: Why Putting Others First Feels So Exhausting
If you grew up always putting others first, caregiving and parenting can feel deeply draining. Not because you are failing, but because your nervous system never learned what it feels like to be cared for. You may feel guilty taking …
Is Your Guilt a Compass — or a Punishment?
Guilt can be a helpful emotion — when it’s grounded in truth. It’s meant to guide us back to our values. To show us when we’ve acted in a way that doesn’t align with who we want to be. But …
Were You Pulled Into Your Parents’ Fights?
If you were pulled into your parents’ fights, you may have grown up feeling like it was your job to fix things. To soothe one parent. To protect the other. To stay quiet. Keep the peace. This is a form …
Breaking the Cycle of Parentification
Breaking the cycle of parentification looks like: Learning that everyone’s well-being is not your responsibility. Resigning from your role as the family peacekeeper. It looks like reconnecting with your inner child. Letting yourself be playful. Curious. Free. It’s allowing support …
Why Nervous System Regulation Is a Practice, Not Just a Tool
You know the signs. Tight chest. Racing thoughts. A sense that everything is too much. You try the breathing exercises. The affirmations. You know what’s supposed to help… but nothing seems to land when you need it most. Because nervous …
The Emotionally Attuned Parent
Many of us didn’t grow up with emotionally attuned parents. We were told to stop crying. That we were overreacting. That our fear, pain, or sadness wasn’t real enough to matter. So we learned to shut down. To doubt our …
How to Recognise Parentification: Signs You Grew Up Too Fast
If you grew up too fast, this might feel familiar… You were pulled into adult conflicts.You became a stand-in partner, a caregiver, a peacekeeper. You felt responsible for everyone.You looked after younger siblings.And somewhere along the way — you lost …