When we ask for something, we risk being and feeling rejected. We are vulnerable. To cover that vulnerability, many of us will use anger or force. How can I ask for what I need and hold onto the part of …
Tag: Needs
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
In 1943 Maslow presented his ‘Hierarchy of Needs’, a model of how humans are motivated. He suggested that we move our psyche and our whole being towards something that he called ‘self-actualisation’ (Maslow, A. A Theory of Human Motivation, 1943). …
Why do you Avoid Being Assertive?
There are many reasons people avoid being assertive. I find the two biggest reasons are: ‘The other person will be upset’ (conflict avoidance) and ‘I have no idea how to do it’. Let’s take ‘The other person will be …
Relationship Rituals to Help with Connection
Relationship rituals help with co-regulation. When you are in an intimate relationship with someone, your nervous systems will attune with one another, either creating co-regulation or dysregulation. When connection is strong in the relationship, if one person is dysregulated, the …
Ideas for Managing In-Laws
This is a personal one…for me, point 3, ‘manage your expectations’ was a huge learning with my in-laws. I grew up with basically six people in my family; my mum, dad, sister, nan, and grandad (my mother’s parents), and we …
Why You Have Outbursts
When we push our emotions down, they get stuck in the body. WE have phases where we feel stable, and life goes on until something takes the lid off. It might be your child spilling paint on the carpet, it …
What You Need to Know About Needs and Relationships
Attempting to get all our needs met through one person is often a subconscious pattern. We all have the need to be loved, accepted, for play, for trust and connection. Some of these needs can only be met interpersonally, in …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …
The Benefits of Self-Awareness
Research has proven the benefits of self-awareness. It has been linked to performance at work and is one of the strongest predictors of personal and organisational success and satisfaction. Dr Tasha Eurich @tashaeurich has conducted extensive research into self-awareness. She …
What It Means To Be Assertive
Assertiveness is a skill that CAN be learnt. If you grew up in a home where assertiveness was not demonstrated it might be more difficult to understand and have an intuitive feel for it, and that is normal. If you …