When I ask how you’re doing, I always want the long version. In my one-on-one sessions, people often apologise for “dumping” everything in the first 10 minutes. But that’s exactly what I want. Therapy is the place for the unfiltered …
Tag: HealYourAnxiousAttachment
They Were Just Broken — But That Doesn’t Make It Okay
Me, to my therapist:“But they weren’t evil. They were just broken. They had their own trauma.” My therapist:“And that’s valid. But let me ask you something… did their trauma give them the right to create new trauma inside you?” And …
When You Realise You’re Not Reacting to Your Partner — You’re Reacting to Your Childhood
There is a moment in therapy that changes everything. It is the moment you realise that the reaction you are having right now is not really about your partner. It feels like it is. It looks like it is. But …
When Valentine’s Day Feels Complicated: Growing Up Without Healthy Love
If you didn’t grow up seeing healthy love… Valentine’s Day can feel complicated. You might long for closeness and fear it at the same time. You might accept crumbs because chaos feels familiar. But you are allowed to learn a …
Can I Widen My Window of Tolerance?
The simple answer is yes. With time and focus, you can widen your Window of Tolerance. Why does this matter? Because the wider your window, the more resilient you become. Your prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain that …
Signs of Hypoarousal: Understanding Your Body’s Shutdown Response
Hypoarousal Hypoarousal is another defence mechanism. It can feel like exhaustion, numbness, disconnection from everything and everyone, or like you’re moving through a dream. You may want to sleep a lot, eat very little, and feel shut down or dissociated. …
Signs of Hyperarousal and Understanding Your Window of Tolerance
Signs of Hyperarousal Most of the time, we live within what’s called our Window of Tolerance — a safe range of arousal where we feel grounded, present, and able to self-regulate. In this state, the reasoning part of our brain …
Are You Betraying Yourself in Small Ways Every Day?
Little self-betrayals add up. Saying yes when you mean no. Pushing down your real needs. Forgetting to check in with yourself. We often think self-betrayal is only about the big moments. But it’s in the small choices where the patterns …