When your partner criticises you, what happens inside?
For some people, the body wants to shrink, go quiet, or disappear. For others, there’s an immediate surge of defensiveness or counter-attack.
Both responses are protective. They developed for a reason. And they make sense.
Over time, one partner can fall into a critical role while the other becomes increasingly defensive. Not because either person is “the problem,” but because a painful cycle has taken over the relationship.
This is where the work really matters — on both sides of the dynamic.
In my couple work, I often use Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy alongside parts work. Together, they help uncover what’s actually fuelling the conflict beneath the behaviours and gently strengthen the attachment bond.
I’ve witnessed profound repair, softness, and reconnection when couples feel safe enough to understand each other differently.
Have a gentle weekend.
Love, Jen 🪷
Ready to Transform Your Relationship?
Couples therapy with Jenny creates a safe, neutral space for you and your partner to slow down, truly hear each other, and rebuild the intimacy and trust you’ve been missing. Whether you’re in crisis or simply wanting to grow together — support is available.