When you have the avoidant adaptation, you likely grew up in an environment where it was not okay to have needs or your needs were denied, so you shut them down. As an adult, you may judge yourself as weak …
Tag: healing journey
Reconnecting with your Needs for the Avoidantly Attached
For the avoidant adaptation, reconnecting with your needs, body, and emotions is part of your healing journey. There are many ways to begin to reconnect to the body. Two of the most potent ways I use with my clients are …
The Healing Journey
As we heal, we grow. We connect with a more profound sense of self. We begin to feel more embodied and happier. We make healthier choices and have healthier boundaries. This gives us more capacity than before to have greater …
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
Let me know in the comments if you have ever experienced this dynamic Love, Jen
The Dance of the Anxious and Avoidant in Conflict
This is the pursuer/withdrawer dynamic identified by Dr Sue Johnson in her brilliant book “Hold Me Tight”. It is the dance of the anxious (pursuer) and the avoidant (withdrawer). I know this dance well because it is one my husband …
Protest Behaviours
This kind of clear communication builds the solid foundation of a lasting, secure relationship. If you had unhealthy relationship behaviours modeled for you as a child, it might take a while for you to shift into healthy ones, but it …
Sharing Your Needs
Once we know what we need, how do we communicate? Many of us have learned that our needs are not important and, in some cases, that the needs of the parent are bigger and more important than our needs. So, …
Feeling Isolated as a Cycle Breaker
Many families have someone who breaks the cycle, know that you are not alone. If you would like some help breaking unhealthy cycles and shifting attachment styles, you will LOVE my 6-week course – Relationship Cycle Breakers. New intake starts …
Being a Secure Home Base as a Therapist
f you didn’t have these experiences, therapy is one way to have the corrective experiences we need to change our attachment style and heal childhood wounds. I talk about this in greater depth in my signature 6-week course, Relationship Cycle …