It is so easy to get swept up in the spending, the drinks, the food. Have you paused to contemplate what you would like for this holiday season? Right now, take a moment and make a list of what YOU …
Tag: Family
Dark Night of the Soul
Fifteen years ago today, I married my best friend. It was, hands down, the hardest thing I have ever done. We came from different socioeconomic backgrounds, different cultures, different countries, but hardest of all, we came from different religions. We …
How do I Protect Myself as a Therapist
Do we need protecting from people? Sometimes, I think the answer is definitely yes, and sometimes not. Do I need to protect myself as a therapist? I like to think about this in terms of protective factors. I have been …
It’s Okay to Take a Break from Your Family
If you have grown up with a family system that is terrified of separation, that places family above all else, the thought of taking a break can be both terrifying and wonderful. It can be terrifying when you just think …
The Effects of Bringing Your Children into Your Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
The Art Of Re-Parenting Part 9 – Self-Reparenting
When we have been raised in an unhealthy environment, when we have experienced neglect, abuse, invalidation, narcissism, conflict or violence, as adults there is still part of us that is expecting the same behaviour from those we love. We learn …
The Art of Re-Parenting Part 5 Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is learnt. We learn it as children as we are guided to do our homework before watching the TV, we learn acceptable ways to speak to our family even when we are angry, we learn how much of the …
The Art Of Re-Parenting – Part 4
The inner child needs to be validated. They need to have THEIR version of reality validated by you.If your inner child has been told for years that she is ‘too sensitive’ to all the fighting that went on in the …
Rites of Passage
My son Isaac (Izzy) turned 7 in February. We had the usual birthday celebration with friends and family and a rainbow cake. On the morning of his 7th birthday I looked him in the eye over breakfast and explained to …