When in conflict, it’s common for people with an avoidant adaptation to want to get away, to shut down and feel confused. This is often super frustrating for the other person who doesn’t understand what’s happening. Inside, the avoidant partner …
Tag: Cycle breaker
Whenever You Feel Desperate To Be Chosen, It’s a Deep Calling To Choose Yourself
Big shout out to Tory Eletto @nytherapist – she’s one of the therapists I’ve been following from the beginning, and I LOVE her work. Like – every post! So, how do you choose yourself? Like Dr Richard Schwartz (founder of …
Blaming Partner Patterns
When you have an anxious adaptation in relationships, conflict signals danger to the nervous system. When this happens, your nervous system fills with energy and prepares you for fight or flight. This is super helpful if a tiger is chasing …
Avoidant Experiences
What is Avoidant Attachment? Avoidant attachment refers to a tendency to avoid emotional closeness and dependency on others. Those with this attachment style may have developed self-reliance as a defence mechanism, often suppressing their need for connection. This can make …
Attachment Needs
I have a FREE resource to help you get awareness of your negative cycle. This cycle is frustrating and usually makes you both feel more disconnected than ever. Learning what your negative cycle is so you can identify it in …
Unmasking Attachment Anxiety
Attachment anxiety is when we learn as children that we can’t depend on the adults around us, so we adapt our behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved. One adaptation …
Understanding Attachment Wounding: Healing Unhelpful Relationship Patterns
As children, our survival depends on staying connected to our caregivers. It’s a simple truth: without them, we cannot thrive. That’s why they say, “We are wired for connection.” However, growing up with caregivers who are not attuned to …
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
When attachment anxiety takes hold, the instinct to people please and prioritize the needs of others over your own can take over. This behavior is understandable because of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned. However, it’s important to recognize the …
Working With Your Critical Inner Voice
Leave a comment if you know where your critical inner voice came from. Here are some examples: The guy you are dating hasn’t called you back. The critical voice says, “Well, of course, he is not that interested. You …
Acting Out
Pause – When you feel yourself about to ‘act out,’ can you pause? Can you hold the tension and discomfort in your body and be curious about what is happening for you? Can you think? I am feeling so much …