This is not about blaming the safer parent. This is about acknowledging a phase in the healing process where suddenly the rose-coloured glasses come off, and you see the safer parent for the human that they are. We need rose-coloured …
Tag: childhood
Parentification
Parentification is when a child takes on the role of a parent, assuming adult responsibilities and emotional caretaking within the family. When this happens, you develop ‘parts’ of you to cope with the situation:
A Conscious Relationship
This is how a relationship can become conscious; through love, support, understanding, compassion, communication and trust.
Grieving Your Childhood
Many people carry a burden of grief related to their childhood experiences. You might mourn your early years if you were burdened with responsibilities beyond your age, faced bullying from a sibling, witnessed frequent violence, endured constant yelling and fighting, …
Growing Up
I once asked someone I had just met what they imagined my childhood was like. They said they imagined I had grown up in a reasonably wealthy home with stable parents, and gone to university—the usual. I told them that …
Parental Impact on Love Languages
60% of you said that your love language was what you DIDN’T receive from your parents as a child (from 120 people on Instagram). I form part of the 40% who said it IS what they received as a child. …
Grieving Your Childhood
So many people have a childhood that needs to be grieved for. It is appropriate to grieve your childhood if: You were parentified You were bullied by a sibling There was a lot of violence There was a lot of …
The Effects of Drawing Children into Adult Conflicts
One of the most common examples of this is during a divorce. Both parents are vying for the emotional support of the children. They are consciously manipulating the children to align with them. This might take the form of comments …
Some Reasons a Child Becomes An Adult Too Soon.
As I mentioned in the last post, there are two types of parentification: 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – Acting as a friend and confidant to a parent, becoming the peacemaker, emotionally supporting the family. I𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 – helping the family with physical …
It’s Okay To Feel Grief For Your Childhood AND Be Grateful For Certain Aspects Of It.
Can I hold BOTH the things I feel grief around AND the parts that made me happy? It is often difficult for the mind and body to hold BOTH, this is part of the work I do in therapy with …