Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to understand what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about how …
Tag: childhood trauma
Trauma & Secure Attachment
When we experience trauma as a child, and our mother (or primary caregiver) is not attuned to our needs, this is attachment trauma. 50% of the population have an insecure attachment style. This means the mother was not available in …
Dissociation And Trauma
“Dissociation is the essence of trauma. The overwhelming experience is split off and fragmented, so that the emotions, sounds, images, thoughts, and physical sensations related to the trauma take on a life of their own.” (Van der Kolk, 2014, p66). …
Childhood Trauma
This is why we end up repeating cycles in our relationships. We unconsciously repeat aspects of our childhood that remain unprocessed in our current relationship—usually the most intimate relationship, whether that is a friendship or partnership. I love to look …
Disrupted Attachment Styles
As adults, this can be incredibly confusing. You might wonder what is wrong with you. You know that you haven’t experienced maltreatment as a child (not that you can remember). Okay, it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t that bad either. …
Being Overly Sensitive to Your Partner’s Moods.
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …
What is the inner child?
Children are naturally creative. They have to be creative to survive in the world and learn about the world. They hear a new noise and want to find out what it is. They see something new and want to explore …
We Can’t Expect Our Siblings to Validate Our Reality.
If this is something you have had to work with, talking to a therapist or other supportive people outside of your family can be incredibly affirming. Let me know if this is something you have experienced and how you have …
Childhood Trauma and How it Affects Us
Let’s expand the definition of trauma. Historically, we think of trauma as big events that caused stress and shock and impacted your old view of yourself and the world. This is big ‘T’ trauma. It has become more apparent that …
Trauma Is Also…
When we think about trauma, we usually think about big things; abuse, car accidents, death, etc. But trauma responses are activated by many other things. I have noticed in my practice that people who have not experienced events that we …