How long to hug for? Google says 20 seconds, but I couldn’t find any research to back that up. What is important is that you have the time YOU need to relax into the hug. If you are hugging a …
Tag: attachment theory
Rituals for Building Connection
When you are an early bird in a relationship with a night owl, you potentially miss out on many opportunities for connection. You might find less time to talk, less intimacy, less touch, and at worst, you are living like …
Are You Triggered By Your Parents?
We all carry wounds from our childhood. It might be that you were teased for being chubby, you were pushed to succeed academically, or there wasn’t enough to eat. When these wounds are left unresolved, we might find ourselves as …
Core Childhood Needs
When attuned parents raise children, they develop a healthy attachment style of relating in intimate relationships. When a child’s needs are not met, the child will develop ‘early maladaptive schemas’ (EMS). This term is used in Schema Therapy, one of …
Significant EQ Abilities Are…
The ability to perceive emotions is something we learn in childhood. When my son was about 9, he went through a phase of about two months where he would regularly ask me if I was feeling angry. He would say: …
Insights into a Satisfying Marriage
FRIENDSHIP was the defining factor for both men and women in achieving a happy marriage. What is friendship in marriage? It is having mutual love and respect for one another, loyalty to your partner and knowing one another’s preferences and …
The Emotionally Attuned Parent
It is so easy to be dismissive when we are parenting. We are too busy and distracted to stop and listen to what is needed. When we don’t attend to children, they learn they are not important, their feelings and …
When We Have Emotionally Immature Parents
Let’s start with emotionally immature parents. Your parents were emotionally immature because THEIR parents were emotionally immature. Emotional maturity is passed through family lines. If we are raised by people who know how to have healthy boundaries, self-regulate, have functional, …
An Antidote To Consumerism
There are some aspects of Buddhism that are incredibly close to my heart. One of them helps with the human condition of suffering. It’s called “letting go” and is said to bring happiness. You might like to try this little …
Things Our Inner Child Likes To Hear:
Part of the re-parenting process is the process of shifting our self-talk. I like to imagine that whenever I think something in my head, I am talking to myself and my inner child. I have a rule: If I wouldn’t …