Most people don’t realise this about anxious attachment: There’s usually an avoidant part underneath. Healing means recognising both the anxious part that chases and the avoidant part that retreats. Through parts work (IFS), you can bring self-compassion to these conflicting …
Why Avoidant Partners Pull Away
If your partner shuts down or distances themselves when stressed, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. People with avoidant attachment styles often move away as a protective strategy—not to hurt you, but to keep themselves safe. Avoidant behaviour isn’t about …
You Crave Connection, But You Keep Choosing Emotionally Unavailable Partners. Why?
You crave connection, but you keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners. Why? Does this sound familiar? You crave connection, but you keep choosing emotionally unavailable partners. Why? Here’s what might be happening beneath the surface: The good news? Awareness is the …
Why We Choose Avoidant Partners – an IFS Perspective
“It’s safer to pull back.” But: This isn’t the whole truth. It’s a protective part, trying to shield you from the potential hurt. Real healing happens when you get curious about this part, meet it with compassion, and show it …
We Choose Avoidant Partners: An Internal Family Systems Perspective
‘Many of you may feel stuck in a painful cycle—repeatedly choosing avoidant or emotionally distant partners despite craving closeness. You might wonder why you always feel unseen, unheard, or unimportant in relationships. When you feel this way, it is common …
The Strengths of Your Ancestors
When we look back at our ancestors, we can often find surprising, hidden strengths and things that connect us to our sense of belonging in the world. Ever since I was little, I have been desperate to see the …
Why You Apologize Even When It’s Not Your Fault
Check out Episode 39 of the Psychotherapy Central Podcast: Understanding and Healing Protest Behaviors Through an IFS Lens. Listen here: Enjoy, and let me know what you think in the comments. Love, Jen
Overly Sensitive And Anxiously Attached
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you likely became hyper-aware of small shifts—watching for any sign that might trigger a reaction. You learned to do things perfectly to avoid being yelled at or punished, picking up on …
Why You Feel So Anxious After a Fight
This is where therapy can be life-changing.Check out Episode 39 of the Psychotherapy Central Podcast: Understanding and Healing Protest Behaviors Through an IFS Lens.Listen here: Enjoy, and let me know what you think in the comments.Love, Jen