Let’s expand the definition of trauma. Historically, we think of trauma as big events that caused stress and shock and impacted your old view of yourself and the world. This is big ‘T’ trauma. It has become more apparent that …
Trauma Is Also…
When we think about trauma, we usually think about big things; abuse, car accidents, death, etc. But trauma responses are activated by many other things. I have noticed in my practice that people who have not experienced events that we …
Trauma Through Omission
There can be trauma through what was DONE to you, being hit, shouted at, called names when growing up. And then there is trauma through omission, things that you should have experienced that you didn’t. Were your parents attuned to …
Healing Takes Time
Have you ever become frustrated with yourself on your healing journey? Thinking: Why are relationships still so difficult for me? Why do I still react like a child around my parents? Why do I still feel anxious all the time? …
11 Signs you are Growing Apart
Relationships take work. They need to be fed and nurtured in order to remain satisfying for both parties. Often the process of drifting apart is gradual. When we find ourselves growing apart, we need to decide if we are going …
My Partner Always Wants To Pause During Difficult Conversations, And It Is Difficult To Move Forward
The curiosity here is around reactivity, and when fight, flight or freeze might take over for either of you in the relationship. This is a conversation that needs to happen when you are NOT in the middle of an argument. …
How to Take a Break During an Argument
Storming out during an argument is not a great way to take a break. Maybe you return to the argument, but more often than not there is still tension in the air, maybe you become passive-aggressive with one another and …
When To Take A Break During A Difficult Conversation:
According to the Gottman’s, 69% of relationship arguments are unsolvable, so it no surprise that they can cause so much frustration. Have you ever been in a situation where you are both feeling unheard, misunderstood and you are both starting …
Communicating Needs Without Losing it.
When we ask for something, we risk being and feeling rejected. We are vulnerable. To cover that vulnerability, many of us will use anger or force. How can I ask for what I need and hold onto the part of …
Most Relationship Conflict Is Really About Differing Values:
Have you ever wondered why you end up fighting your partner over and over again about the same thing, a different situation, but the same topic? Let’s take a typical example, money. It might be that in your relationship, you …