Intergeneratioanl trauma is real. Check out this paper “Intergenerational transmission of trauma effects: putative role of epigenetic mechanisms” by Yehuda & Lehrner (2018) for some fantastic research-based insights.
Imagine a child growing up in a household with an alcoholic mother. The mother is sometimes present and caring, and sometimes she is neglectful and verbally or physically abusive.
This results in a dysregulated autonomic nervous system. Behavioural, emotional and autonomic dysregulation can look like: screaming, self-injury, sleep issues, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, intestinal problems or breathing issues.
These all affect relationships, intimacy and parenting. When the child has children of their own, their parenting style is often affected by how they were parented.
It takes work on the part of the child as an adult to recognise the trauma, the issues with the lack of parental stability and the effect it has had on them.
Many people have said, “THIS STOPS WITH ME”. They have done the work, and they are AMAZING parents. They have securely attached children; they provide a secure home base for their children, and the trauma line is firmly broken.
So much luck to all of you out there on this healing journey. YOU CAN DO IT… and know IT IS SOOOOOO WORTH IT.