Moving into a new relationship is all about stepping into vulnerability. We often feel anxiety when we step into vulnerability because we risk being hurt. I hope these tips will be helpful for those of you experiencing new relationship anxiety. …
Category: Relationships
How To Be Heard When You Feel Criticised
It can be SO difficult to actually listen to your partner when you are in the middle of an argument. All too often, we block ourselves from seeing their point of view because we feel we will be agreeing with …
How Close Can I Safely Get?
We all have a subconscious distance in a relationship that we are comfortable with. If we are further away than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, or if we are closer than that distance, we won’t feel comfortable, and we …
Attachment Wounds CAN Come From Adult Relationships
Attachment wounds don’t only come from your childhood, they can also be formed in adulthood. Remember that attachment wounds are relational wounds. This means that they happened in a relationship with another person. When we are hurt deeply enough for …
Male and Female Archetypes
What do you think about this idea of your mother as being the first archetypal woman and your father, the first archetypal man in your life? It makes sense that we would organise our expectations around these roles and archetypes …
Are You Stuck in Pattern Repeat?
When we are growing up, we get used to the relational distance between us and our caregivers. We chose a distance that feels safe. We do whatever we need to do to maintain the ‘safe distance’, close enough where I …
Our Need to Stay Connected
We need connection. There is no more potent time in our lives that we need connection than in our childhood. We need connection as children to survive. Without connection, we die. It is that simple. To stay connected as children, …
The Need For Connection Is The Need to Survive In A Amall Child
As small children, we have to stay connected to our carers to stay alive. Without them, we die. It’s simple. This is why they say ‘we are wired for connection’, we are. When we grow up with caregivers who are …
Anxious Attachment and the Danger of People Pleasing
The fear of being abandoned can feel worse than the fear of death. Just the thought of that person leaving you might make you feel like you will throw up, that you will never want to engage with the world …
Being Overly Sensitive to Your Partner’s Moods.
If you grew up in an emotionally unstable environment, you would have learned to watch for any little thing that might set them off. You learn to do things perfectly to avoid being shouted at or punished. You learn to …