Having an unavailable father usually provokes one of two reactions. 1)𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲, “I don’t need his love”. Here we punish him, withdraw and close down. We stop expecting anything from him to protect ourselves from being hurt. Maybe …
Category: Relationships
You might have a Mother wound if…
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …
Is it possible to change my attachment style?
One of the things we look at in my course, ‘ Relationship Cycle Breaker,’ are practical ways to rewire our personality for more fulfilling relationships. You CAN go back and rewire that original attachment to create profound shifts and healing …
Attachment Styles and Their Impact on Relationships
If you want to know more about attachment styles, let me know in the comments with an a ‘yes!’ and know that I cover anxious attachment in my six-part video series being released next week. If you would like to …
Deserting Yourself During an Argument
Sometimes it just feels easier to let the other person have their way. Maybe to keep the peace and avoid conflict, perhaps because they feel more strongly than you about the topic than you, or maybe they are implying they …
Finding Connection Through Conflict
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
Letting Go Of The Need To Be Right
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
The Need To Be Right Can Be Damaging To Your Relationship
As the recipient, you have a choice to keep arguing back and prove your point, with the knowledge that you will never be right, so you are fighting a losing battle or giving in. Neither seems very appealing in the …
Prince Harry, A Cycle Breaker
I recently read Prince Harry’s book, ‘Spare’. What I loved about this book was the obvious intergenerational healing that is taking place by Harry being a cycle breaker. Now, I know many of you will have big opinions about this, …
Unsolvable Relationship Conflicts
According to the Gottman’s (excellent relationship researchers), 69% of relationship conflict is unsolvable. These are perpetual problems that stem from fundamental differences in beliefs or personality. They will be something that you return to as a couple repeatedly and often …