When you have an anxious adaptation in relationships, conflict signals danger to the nervous system. When this happens, your nervous system fills with energy and prepares you for fight or flight. This is super helpful if a tiger is chasing …
Category: Relationships
Blaming Partner
When in conflict, if you have an anxious adaptation, it is common to get into a pattern of feeling alone and hopeless in your relationship. Rather than give up, you might find yourself becoming critical of your partner and pursuing …
Avoidant Experiences
What is Avoidant Attachment? Avoidant attachment refers to a tendency to avoid emotional closeness and dependency on others. Those with this attachment style may have developed self-reliance as a defence mechanism, often suppressing their need for connection. This can make …
Feeling Loved and Important
Feeling loved and Important to your partner is an attachment need. BUT HOW??? Here are some ways to make your partner feel loved and important:
Feel Like Whatever You Do is Wrong?
I have a FREE resource to help you get awareness. In it you will learn: My gift to you, Love, Jen
Unmasking Attachment Anxiety
Attachment anxiety is when we learn as children that we can’t depend on the adults around us, so we adapt our behaviour to suit the situation we are experiencing in that relationship to stay alive, fed and loved. One adaptation …
Understanding Attachment Wounding: Healing Unhelpful Relationship Patterns
As children, our survival depends on staying connected to our caregivers. It’s a simple truth: without them, we cannot thrive. That’s why they say, “We are wired for connection.” However, growing up with caregivers who are not attuned to …
Anxious Attachment and People Pleasing
When attachment anxiety takes hold, the instinct to people please and prioritize the needs of others over your own can take over. This behavior is understandable because of the overwhelming fear of being abandoned. However, it’s important to recognize the …
IFS and Attachment Theory
Have you ever wondered why you react to certain situations or relationships in a specific way? Are you curious about the intricate workings of your mind and how it shapes your experiences? Today, I want to dive into two fascinating …
When You ‘Act Out’ It Might Be Part Of You That Is Trying To Protect You
The last time I ‘acted out’, my inner child was trying to defend me. She felt that the other person had unjustly exaggerated a mistake I had made, and her response was ‘fight’. She was trying to protect me. When …