One of the ways you can create your own secure base internally and heal from the experience of having an insecure external home base in your mother as a child is through connecting with a powerful part of the self, …
Category: Psychotherapy
You are the Master of your Mind
Something else I like to do with the mind when it starts to go places I know are not helpful to me is to gently guide it back. Remember, you are the master of your mind. While you let it …
Different experiences of Covid 19
I have heard so many different experiences of this time: I feel so confused. I have lost my job and feel a lot of financial insecurity I’m okay, but Im really worried about my parents. I feel selfish, but I’m …
The Dance of the Avoidant & the Anxiously Attached
I’ve had a lot of requests for more details about the avoidant / anxious dynamic. I hope this gives a bit more insight. If you think of every adult as having a child-like part and an adult-like part, there are …
How to be with a Partner Who Has Disorganised Attachment
They have a deep need for consistency – being a safe person is essential Understanding their fear in relationship They will have emotional ups and downs – allow space for this WITH boundaries When in an argument they may dissociate …
Tools for Those with a Disorganised Attachment Style
This attachment style is a combination of the previous two (avoidant and ambivalent/anxious). Disorganised children give inconsistent responses in the presence of their primary caregiver (often the mother). This is the result of inconsistent behaviour from the parent, sometimes the …
How to Be with A Partner Who Is Avoidantly Attached
People with avoidant attachment ARE able to love and be in fulfilling relationships. They subconsciously use avoidance as a way to protect themselves. It is an adaptation that has developed from childhood as a response to a caregiver (often the …
Tools for those with an Avoidant Attachment Style
The avoidant attachment style grows in children as a response to a caregiver (often the mother) who is emotionally unavailable and non-attuned to the needs of the child. Over time they suppress their natural desire to be comforted even when …
How to be with a Partner who is Anxiously Attached
Some common scenarios that up when you are in relationship with an anxiously attached partner: You have a busy day at work and couldn’t return his call and have received 10 text messages which become more and more heated. Whatever …
Tools For Those With Anxious Attachment
It is very easy for anxiously attached people to judge themselves for their insecurity. Having grown up with a mother (or primary caregiver) who was not consistently available and attuned to their needs, these children learnt that they were not …