The inner child needs to be validated. They need to have THEIR version of reality validated by you. Suppose your inner child has been told for years that she is ‘too sensitive’ to all the fighting that went on in …
Tag: validation
The Most Beautiful Words on Earth
I think sometimes we can hear the words ‘I love you’ so often that they start to lose their true meaning. I do wonder about languages that have more nuanced words for ‘love’ if this would increase the meaningfulness in …
Real Validation
It is so easy to think we have heard our partner, when in fact we have been busy defending our position. We are often afraid that if we see things from their perspective, in a FELT way, we will not …
We Can’t Expect Our Siblings to Validate Our Reality.
If this is something you have had to work with, talking to a therapist or other supportive people outside of your family can be incredibly affirming. Let me know if this is something you have experienced and how you have …
What are Core Childhood Needs?
When core needs go unmet, unhealthy coping mechanisms result. This is natural, because a child needs to keep themselves safe and over time, learns how to get their needs met, however they can. For many people, having needs at all …
How Therapy Can Change Your Life
Research shows that the benefits of therapy are more long lasting than medication alone. Therapy teaches people skills to manage symptoms and help them to address some of the causes of the symptoms. There is no doubt that therapy has …
The Art of Re-Parenting – Part 2
Part of the re-parenting process is the process of shifting our self-talk. I like to imagine that every time I think something in my head, I am talking to myself and my inner child. I have a rule: If I …
Gaslighting By Parents
Have you ever been with a parent who totally denies the reality of your childhood? It happens in the small moments such as: Adult child: You and dad used to fight all the time; I was terrified growing up in …
Biological And Logical Family
This is where we can differentiate between the BIOLOGICAL family and the LOGICAL family. The biological family may have been dysfunctional and toxic, where a lot of relational trauma has occurred. Where, as a child, your needs have not been …
Different experiences of Covid 19
I have heard so many different experiences of this time: I feel so confused. I have lost my job and feel a lot of financial insecurity I’m okay, but Im really worried about my parents. I feel selfish, but I’m …