The inner child needs to be validated. They need to have THEIR version of reality validated by you.
Suppose your inner child has been told for years that she is ‘too sensitive’ to all the fighting that went on in the house. That there is nothing wrong with the family, there is something wrong with her. There is a strange sense of not being permitted to grieve for the situation and all the pain because the problem is with her and not the family unit.
It is an unbelievable relief when you listen to HER version and validate all of the pain, fighting, drama, and abuse.
Finally, someone hears her. She doesn’t have to prove how painful it was anymore. You remember it all too. She was not alone in it. You witnessed it all, too, it did happen, and it has caused lasting inner scars.
So many parents are wounded children in adult’s bodies. This is not about demonising your parents. It is about recognising their limitations. They could only do what they had been taught from their wounds.
Does this resonate? Let me know in the comments.