This is one of the main dynamics that brings couples into therapy. It is the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle. So, what exactly is the Anxious-Avoidant Cycle, how does it work, and how do we perpetuate it? We also tackle the big question: …
Tag: therapy
Gabor Maté Quote
This resonates deeply with Richard Schwatz’s work, in that Internal Family Systems (IFS) finds there are NO BAD PARTS.Gabor Mate nailed it here. The part that reaches for the alcohol or the drugs hopes to find something. Often, it is …
I’m Trying To Make Them Understand
Have you ever found yourself repeating yourself and trying to say the same thing in a hundred different ways to be understood? I know I have.
5 Tips for the 5 Stages of a Relationship
One common myth about great relationships is that there are no arguments or disagreements. The Gottman’s, fantastic relationship experts who have done lots of research in this area, disagree. It is NORMAL to have conflict in a relationship; the issue …
What to Expect in Your First IFS Therapy Session
I explore what might happen in this episode in your first IFS therapy session. Although this will differ with every therapist, my aim here is to give you an overview of what might happen because sometimes we have scared parts …
D Schwartz Quote
This is how you can make a relationship conscious. When you use the pain, you trigger one another as a guide inward. Rather than blame each other, you meet your pain with curiosity. You turn inward and get curious about …
Brené Brown On Pathology
Let’s take OCD as an example. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is in the DSM-5. The DSM-5 is The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Illnesses, the latest edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s professional reference book on mental health. Let’s take …
Six Reasons You Are Attracted to Avoidant or Unavailable Men
Have you ever felt frustrated at yourself for choosing yet ANOTHER unavailable partner? Maybe he is married or lives in another state or country. Maybe he is dating you, but he seems to be married to his work, mother or …
Intergenerational Trauma
This line of questioning will help you discover a legacy burden (to use Internal Family Systems (IFS) language). I have a whole list of legacy burdens that come through my family. One I have worked with repeatedly over the years …
Inner child work and IFS
Have you wondered what all the fuss is about the Inner Child and why so many therapists go on and on about it? Have you wondered what the inner child is and how to take care of this elusive part …