“When trauma gets triggered you don’t act your age, you act the age the wound was created.” — Gabor Maté When a trauma wound is activated, your system does not respond from your present-day self. It responds from the age …
Tag: selfworth
Healing From Trauma: Choosing Yourself After Learning to Tolerate Poor Treatment
Trauma can leave you believing you have to tolerate poor treatment because losing someone feels more dangerous than staying. Healing is the slow, steady realisation that your wellbeing matters too. You begin to see that the real loss is abandoning …
Sometimes Walking Away Is How You Choose Yourself
Sometimes walking away is the moment you choose yourself. It’s the moment you decide, deep in your body, “This is the last time I will be treated like this, by anyone.” That clarity doesn’t come from anger. It comes from …
Why Extreme Behaviours Are Often Survival Strategies
Sometimes what we see on the surface looks chaotic, destructive, or hard to understand. But when you are caught in extreme coping behaviours — severe eating disorders, compulsive sexual behaviour, or addiction — what’s underneath is almost always pain that …
The Power of Saying “I Can’t Wait to Share My Life With You”
“I can’t wait to share my life with you.” One of the most powerful things you can say in a relationship. One of the simplest ways to create safety and connection in your relationship is to talk about the future …
Your Relationship Problems Aren’t What You Think They Are
You think you’re fighting about how late they came home. Or that they never put their phone down when you’re talking. Or that you’re always the one planning everything while they coast. But those aren’t the real problems. They’re signals …
You Don’t Have to Hold It All Anymore
If you grew up with unstable parents, it is common to have a part of you that was busy trying to stabilise them. That might have meant watching out for them drinking too much or trying to be happy to …
If It Hurts, It Hurts — You Don’t Have to Justify Your Pain
If it hurts, it hurts. You don’t have to justify it. You are not being too sensitive. Each of us feels things in our own way. If something hurts, that’s real. It’s not overreacting. It’s not being too much. It’s …
The Nervous System of a Woman Who Grew Up Without Emotional Support
Too many women grow up without the emotional care they need. Maybe your parents were physically present, put food on the table, and kept a roof over your head, but they weren’t emotionally attuned. Perhaps your distress was ignored, minimised, …