They may expect their partner to ‘grow up’ if they express their needs or emotions, thus pushing the other person away. This is their subconscious drive to protect themselves from re-experiencing the pain of the relationship with their primary caregiver. …
Tag: Relationships
Responsiveness is a Love Language
When our partners are not responsive, it can feel like we are playing tennis with no one hitting the ball back. It quickly gets lonely. If this is happening in your relationship, now is the time to get curious about …
Anxiously Attached People Appreciate Responsiveness
Responsiveness is a subtle form of communication and is a love language. When you respond to me reaching out for connection, the connection is validated, and I feel SAFE. It might be the smile you give me, in response to …
Anxious Attachment Traits
A snippet from my live session ‘Attachment Explained’ last week. Whenever we are discussing adaptations, I feel a warmth in my heart, that for me is linked to compassion. We develop adaptations in reaction to an environment. We have to …
The Power of Gratitude for the Anxiously Attached – 3 tips
The trick for the anxiously attached person is to let the gratitude in. And that’s a journey. When our life has shown us that we are not valued, noticed, and treasured, it can be difficult to let genuine gratitude and …
Anxiously Attached People Appreciate Reassurance
Feel free to share this with your partner! You are allowed to ask for reassurance – reassurance = safety. The most important thing about reassurance is that it is congruent and truthful. If you feel unsure about the relationship, it …
Anxiously Attached People Appreciate Consistency
Wow – the power of consistency with an anxiously attached person. It is like drinking a cool glass of water on a hot day – soothing, grounding, nourishing from the inside. The balance here is asking for the consistency that …
Abandonment To Self-Abandonment
We might call this people-pleasing, but for me, this is deeper. This happens in the small but powerful moments when we: Concede in an argument because we feel them pulling away. Have sex, but our body doesn’t feel like it, …
Seeking Others to Regulate Us.
The opportunity here is to give the younger self the soothing she so desperately wanted and deserved. I have been doing Inner Child and ‘parts’ work for over 17 years with myself and others and found it to be one …