In relationship we can often find our biggest source of comfort and refuge and sometimes our greatest source of pain. It takes effort and commitment to build a healthy relationship that is a refuge for both of you. What would …
Tag: Relationships
What I Love About Working With Couples
I can’t describe the magic that happens in couple work when someone reveals something so tender and vulnerable and is met with heart-opening compassion and understanding. Even when the thing being shared doesn’t make sense or is illogical, both people …
Recording The Audio For “Healing Your Anxious Attachment”
I started the 5-day recording process today at a studio in North Sydney. After learning to speed read as a teenager, it is interesting to see how many words and letters I don’t see. My brain seems to sort them …
How Are Cycle Breakers Shamed in Their Family?
There are often comments which, when boiled down, ask, “Why can’t you just be more like us?” When cycle breakers emerge, the resistance is usually overt AND covert. Overt in the things said to you and covert in the things …
What Is Reparenting?
Wherever you are in your healing journey, reparenting is part of it. When we were raised by adults who didn’t know how to regulate their nervous system, who did not have the skills to role model healthy boundaries or conflict …
10 Signs You Have a Father Wound
Much of the mental health and psychology literature has focused on the mother and the mother’s attachment. But what about our fathers? As children, we need a healthy father figure. It doesn’t have to be a biological father. It could …
12 Signs You Have a Mother Wound
Many of us spend years in confusion, anger, and grief about the mother relationship, trying to make sense of what happened. The relationship with the mother, who is usually the primary caretaker, is the first imprint we receive about …
Is It Possible To Change My Attachment Style?
Up until age two, our brain is growing at a furious rate. The neurons are connecting, and the brain is being wired, literally. In the relationship with our primary caregiver (usually the mother), we are being wired for relationship. If …
Breaking Family Cycles
My dad was a welder. He worked until he retired at 65. He did manual labour. He worked hard. To him, being a successful adult meant working hard, being frugal and staying safe. He didn’t know anyone who had gone …
Conflict and Connection
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …