What do you do to self-soothe when you are stressed? Do you pick up a drink? Do you find yourself in front of the cupboard tucking into a whole packet of dark chocolate McVities Digestives (for the Brits reading this)? …
Tag: Psychotherapy tips
When We Compare Ourselves To Others We Can Inadvertently
Let’s first differentiate between being inspired by someone and comparing yourself to someone. When we feel inspired by someone, we feel uplifted, hopeful, as though anything is possible. When we are comparing ourselves to someone, there is a one up, …
3 Tips to Change How You argue
This video has some AMAZING tips to revolutionise the way you have conflict in your relationship
How Do I Know If I Am ‘Showing Up?’
When we don’t ‘show up’ in our most intimate relationships, we limit the depth of connection that can be achieved. I think most of us want to ‘show up’, but we are held back. We are held back by: fear …
Is It Time To Stop Expecting People to Show-Up for You Who Don’t Have The Capacity To Do It?
Tough question: When we are feeling let down by someone, ask yourself this question, ‘do they have the capacity to show up for me in the way I need?’ If the answer is ‘no’, they can’t show up for me …
Living on Autopilot
We have a choice to live life on autopilot or to live life ‘awake’, but to be awake, we have to do things differently. Not everything all at once, but we need to learn to bring more awareness into our …
What Does Abandoning Yourself in an Argument Look Like
Sometimes, we only find out that we should have stood our ground more firmly AFTER the fact. It isn’t until we are sat at the work lunch, with a pounding head, having to make polite conversation, that it is obvious …
Can Conflict Become A Way For a Couple To Connect?
Conflict provides an opportunity for a deeper connection. Most of us are not taught this. We are taught that conflict is scary and to be avoided. We might have learnt from our family of origin that conflict results in physical …
How to Give up Being Right and Accept Influence
Research in relationships shows that men find it more difficult than women to accept influence from their partners (see J. Gottman’s research). But, let’s face it, we can all love to win, and we are living in a culture that …
How Having to Be Right Damages your Relationship and What to Do About it.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who has to be right all the time? It can be so frustrating. Even when there is evidence that they are wrong, they won’t openly say, “oh, I was wrong”, they …